Love and Ice Cream

The best things in life take time to enjoy!

I love Birthday Cake Ice Cream! Yum! What’s your favorite kind?

Ever notice how the flavor isn’t as awesome after a few licks? I realized something once-if ice cream is ICED CREAM, then maybe the flavor disappears because my taste buds are frozen! Yikes!

So I thought, what if I  paused, let my tongue thaw a bit, and then resumed my licks? Wow! I was shocked at the results! When I took those pauses, switched gears from rushing through eating it (like everyone else), that awesome flavor I had with the first bite returned!

Ever notice that after several years with your partner things just aren’t as awesome as they once were...kinda like that first and the fifth lick of ice cream?

It takes very little effort to be task oriented and get things done. It takes more thought and time to pause, realize you need to switch gears and really savor the flavor of our moments together.

Now sometimes, being task oriented is a good thing…

My husband is a left-brained logic. He’s a surgeon. He’s amazing at what he does!  Afterall, he and his team save lives! At work, he moves along with short, to the point questions and answers: he speaks what he needs, it’s delivered to him, and he moves on to the next task.

On his drive home he has to pause and switch gears: he has to consciously switch from being task oriented to relationship oriented. As you can imagine things don’t go so well between us when he delivers short, to the point questions and answers, and then moves on. When he forgets to switch we end up feeling very disconnected from one another.

Just as we like different flavors of ice cream, we have to realize that individual  circumstances require us to show up differently. My husband needs to show up task oriented at work...and he needs to show up relationally when he gets home.

When he doesn’t switch gears and attempt to connect on a deeper level, taking time to pause, listen and respond with empathy, my kids and I feel ignored, unimportant, and disconnected. That leads to greater conflict as the days go on.

Likewise, if I don’t take time to respect that he needs some quiet time when he gets home (maybe he had a difficult surgery, or long hours on his feet) he’s not going to feel valued for his long, challenging day.  

As I said above, the best things in life take time to enjoy: like unexpected pauses, conscious thought to switch gears, and just time, so we can fully savor the relationship and experience.

In what areas of your life do you need to pause, switch gears and take more time? If we don’t take purposeful time to savor our relationship with each other how do we expect to enjoy it?

Take time this week to identify these areas of your relationship that need nurturing and more attention. Commit to making some changes.

Let me know what insight you’ve had! I love reading your responses.

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Debbie Kaminski

(320) 322-9414

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