Updated: Feb 12
Did you know your man would die for you?
After the Las Vegas shooting last year a woman who said a man, a complete stranger, threw himself on top of her. "He saved my life," she said. He didn't think about it, he just did it. The same happened in Aurora, CO, at the 2013 theatre shooting. Men instinctively laid on top of women to save them.
GIRL, your man would die for you!
Isn’t that unbelievable?! It doesn't feel like that when we’re fighting about laundry, money or sex...but it’s true.
Valentine’s Day isn’t all about chocolates, diamonds and roses like the media would like us to believe-although I love any and all of those! It's about so much more!
I don't know if you can relate, but my guy is cerebral. And while I’d love a kitchen dance as he gazes lovingly into my eyes like a hollywood romance, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, after presenting me with a dozen long-stems, a beautiful new ring and a box of Dove chocolates, that probably isn't going to happen! So why set myself up?
I've learned after 32 years of marriage that he really does adore me; he's just not a romantic (it's something he has to work at!). He'll do something on a small scale: probably stop at Walmart on the way home, pick up a bunch of flowers by the cashier, maybe a card, maybe not. He'll take me out to a lovely dinner-although that might get changed up with my new Vegan way of eating. And I'll be grateful to have an evening with the man I love and respect.
But the most important thing I've learned is that he would die for me. That still blows my mind!
Sister, on Valentines Day, your guy doesn't want flowers or chocolates and in fact, most men don't even want love...they want respect. Sure, he might want some new gadget for his man cave, his deer stand, or car, but I'll tell you what he'd really like...
...A note. One that tells him you respect how hard he works for your family. One that says, 'I learned today that you'd die for me...that's amazing...and incomprehensible.' One that thanks him for how he leads, his insight, and how he loves having you (quietly) by his side (a topic for another day). Thank him for that. Tell him you respect the honorable man he is. Even if you think he doesn't deserve it, find one.little.thing you can respect.
Maybe he's not so great in your relationship right now and you are at your end; but perhaps part of this is because he feels so disrespected by you. So do something different...perhaps he's very respected at work and works hard for the family. Tell him. Maybe he's a great father who leads by great example. Let him know. Find just one thing that you can say to him, "I respect you for this."
Truly, most men are good-willed, they don't wake up in the morning wondering how they can tick us off (I really thought that for years!). The truth is we're just different: we like different things and we need different things. Is that okay?
Let your man know on Valentine's Day, that you respect him. You'll be amazed what happens! This is certainly one way to romance your man. And if you want to turn up the heat, you know that anything sexy will absolutely make him flex his muscles!
Write and tell me what happens at Debbie@goodbyepast.com. I always love hearing from you!